I had a scary moment earlier.
I used to play guitar incessantly. From the age of about 14 up 29ish it was a major part of my life. I wasn’t bad at it either and even entertained ideas of trying to turn professional at one point. I suppose I was a typical teenager of one type who gets very caught up in music and playing guitar, like a few other people I know.
I don’t listen to music half as much as I used to. Also, it was around a couple of years ago that I noticed that I really wasn’t playing guitar as much as I had done previously. I’ve still hung on to two acoustic guitars though, one of which I’ve had since I was 15, a birthday present.
I got into playing classical guitar as well, aside from my usual grumpy rock.
Anyway, I was ‘noodling’ earlier, playing over a piece that muscle memory had maintained for me, surprisingly, even. I realised that when playing something over and over or practicing a piece over and over I space out mentally, to a large extent. But it was a mind I also recognise from meditating that is unskillful in that it is un-alert and dissipated. That really shook me and I realised that I have perhaps a strong tendency to enter that state – which I often encounter – whilst meditating, probably as a result of years of strumming and plucking away at the guitar.
Maybe that’s why I’ve started to shy away from playing over the last couple of years. Either way, seeing that clearly really made me jump. At the back of my mind I’ve been toying with giving away my little stack of music books and selling my guitars to a second-hand place. Still not sure if I’m ready to do that…. maybe I should learn to play mindfully instead…. zen guitar.
Shut up and meditate 
brentmosher
January 2, 2011
shutupandmeditate
I play guitar too, and sing and write songs. And meditate. And I know what you’re saying.
People say things like “my gardening is my meditation” or “when I play the piano it’s like meditating” and my response now to statements like that is “then you must never have mediated” because while these acivities can be relaxing, take your mind off your problems, let solutions arise from the subconcious and all those positive things, they are not the same as meditating. The depth is never there.
I don’t play as much as I used to, either. Partly because I realized that until I straightened my head out, I was never going to be as good as I knew I could be. So meditation took the place of first priority.
I still play, almost everyday. But, if “it’s” not there, if I’m not inspired, or playing poorly, then I stop. Usually my state of mind let’s me know loud and clear that I’m wasting my time. Sounds like yours does the same.
Do you write songs? That sort of direction or intention might bring focus to your playing, so you’re not just running scales and chords to no end or purpose. Also, I’ve found if I limit myself to say three songs, and pay attenion to my mind and body while I’m playing, noticing muscular tension or whatever fantasies are running though my head, I can then use that information during my next meditation session, focussing on the part of my body that was tense and seeing what the underlying problem is, or why is that fantasy occurring to me, what do I “think” I want/need? Also, playing does get me in touch with my emotions, or more accurately how my emotions remain blocked and repressed, so I can use my playing as a concious was of taking the measure of how my meditation practice has helped me to tear down those walls between my waking self and my subconcious.
I’m not a very accomplished guitar player, technically speaking. I was always more interested in writing than learning to play someone else’s guitar solo. I used to find myself playing Stairway to Heaven over and over. What was the point? I wasn’t learning anything, and was playing it worse because I was just going through the motions.
I’ve also found it useful to mostly play songs that were on my mind that day.
Hope that was helpful. Decision is yours, of course, and you can always “change your mind” (ha-ha).
WARNING —- SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION AHEAD. PROCEED AT OWN RISK.
I’ve started my own “blog” (god I don’t believe in I hate that word) called Brent Mosher’s Songwriting on WordPress. Just google it and it’ll come up.
shutupandmeditate
January 2, 2011
Hi, thanks for your comment. I gave up writing songs when I was about 18 because my lyrics were terrible(!). I just got into writing music, I wrote loads and loads of music, most of which I’ve forgotten now. Some of it I painstakingly tabbed out and I think I have (gulp) an audio cassette somewhere of myself playing.
My guitars sit in my room mostly gathering dust now although I’ll occasionally play them, like I have the past couple of days. I’m not consumed with the creative fervour I used to have though. I probably spent too many hours just playing, playing, playing and reinforcing unhelpful states of mind. It is interesting to try a zen approach though, playing slowly and actually being aware of what I’m doing. Just not used to doing it with guitar and I’m not sure if I’m ready to let it take over just yet.
I took a look at your blog, Yarmouth sounds like an interesting place! I flew over Nova Soctia once I think. There’s a Great Yarmouth in the UK; I think it’s an old holiday town that has seen better days. Yeah, them Vikings are pretty harsh, they knew what they were doing here. There’s a museum in the north of England that has recreated a Viking settlement and claims to have a genuine piece of Viking shit. Thanks guys. Anyway, I’m going off on a tangent.
Yeah, will keep strumming a bit I think. I used to be a bit obsessed with my hobbies, kung fu and music, not so much now, maybe cos I found Gawd (just kidding :D). Do you do gigs then?